This was the page that was really stalling me out in early readings. So it got the heaviest of edits. Basically Oraku is telling Ayamu that Janson is a clone of a clone of a dictator put into power by Algernon at the end of the Holocaust when Algernon was imprisoned and the TKMGK broken.
(if you can't read some spots let me know)
Interesting, but this version of events doesn't gel for me. I want to show that Algernon was defeated by the TKMGK and Janson only *thinks* Algernon is alive in the computers. This is more mysterious and helps put Algernon in that *Sauron* kind of role where the reader is never really sure that he is still alive. Here I came up with another scenario that will fit into your layout here:
ReplyDelete1- What is Janson?
2- We know very little.
3- He came from the Wastelands only very recently.
4- A human we think.
5- One of the last.
6- At first he seemed to be rebuilding the Pyramid Tower for the good of the planet. To help.
7- But then something- changed- in him.
8- He's obsessed with finding the TKMGK pieces.
9- He's created an army of clones to achieve this.
10- He believes the spirit of Algernon lives on in the mechanized mind of the Tower.
11- All was lost- we thought- but then *she* appeared...
He, he, lots of he this he that, can we mix in some different pronouns? Try reading it aloud as though you were Oraku until it sounds unlike machine gun fire. Yet I think I get the gist. Also we already established what changed in Algernon on an earlier page ( the death of his wife)
ReplyDeleteIn the Algernon origin I used the creation of the Pyramid Tower as what saved the world from oblivion, but the power that the now man/machine hybrid gained warped his mind towards evil, or rather turned off his conscience.